June Column Winner

The one where a bartender called me bougie

By Kathleen Guill, Frederick Press-Leader

Last weekend I attended the Oklahoma Press Association (OPA) Convention. Last year I attended the afternoon awards luncheon because the award I won was presented there. This year I attended the evening awards banquet because I won third place for one of my photos and those awards were presented at the banquet. 

Anyway, for the banquet, “cocktail attire” was preferred. So, me being me, who never does anything halfway, I Googled cocktail attire because I’m not a cocktail event type of person which means I did not own anything “cocktail event” worthy. I also hate shopping so I ordered an entire outfit online, even though with my height, ordering dresses online is always hit or miss. 

This time it was surprisingly a hit. The dress fit perfectly, and the shoes, bag, and wrap pulled the entire look together. 

Was it my outfit, hair, or makeup that caused one of the bartenders to remember me hours and hundreds of people later? 

No. 

Let’s just say, if you assume a cocktail event (complete with a COCKTAIL hour) means that the bartenders are making cocktails, so you Google “classy cocktails” so you don’t look like an unclassy moron, just know that Google is not your friend. 

I asked for the first cocktail that popped up which was a cosmopolitan. 

The bartender looked me dead in the face and said, “Ma’am, this is Oklahoma. We don’t do bougie drinks here.”

They also couldn’t do martinis. 

After the banquet, which was about two and a half hours long, we went to something called hospitality hour and we had complimentary drink tickets for that, so we went back to the bar and I told the same bartender, “Just give me a shot of that melon stuff.”

She said, “I like that order a lot better than the Cosmo.” 

One of my hobbies is creating my own cocktails, but I can also make classic cocktails. So I went back to Google (even though Google is now on my grudge list – along with that bartender) for the recipe for Cosmos. Turns out, I can literally make that in my own kitchen with the ingredients I already have. 

I guess I’m ready to start my next career as a bartender. I promise – I won’t call you bougie no matter what drink you order.